To Own Thine Self Be True

"Just your existence proves the existence of God. Your presence proves the existence of life and energy. We don't need to know or prove anything. Just to be, to take a risk and enjoy your life, is all that matters."

~Don Miguel Ruiz 

By: Angela Mayah Solstice

Good day! It is a beautiful Sunday here in New York and I thought to write to you all! Sunday has been known to many as a day of Sabbath or rest. Yet in still, we live in a world that keeps on pushing! Even going to or volunteering at a church takes a tremendous amount of energy. Are we ever, truly not working? Do our minds ever stop thinking? How on Earth is a day of rest realized?

 "Prosperity is Relaxation"

~Unknown

I knew of a restaurant in Chicago that closed from sundown on Friday to sundown on Saturday (I could be messing this information up, but as you will read on I was frustrated!) I remember being disappointed many times, because just when I had a taste for their delicious food and thought to walk over and order some food, it was closed! It became my pattern, I would think of their great food, I would go over, and it was closed. It sometimes felt like some cruel cosmic joke! If I had thought to spiritualize my experience of continuously going to the restaurant at the wrong time, I could have seen the signs. The owner offered a beautiful explanation for their peculiar hours, but I never took much time to look into it—I wanted what I wanted! How many times have we missed the mark on what may have been important to someone else, overly worried with our selfish desires? 

I believe that the majority of people are obsessed with time, money and sex. They want it instantly in the most self-serving sort of way. We have mistakenly been conditioned to think the more time invested in work, the more money, and the more sex. Which in turn equals more power and success. Although some may disagree, I still dare to say that sort of lifestyle must be tiring. Having sexual relations on the go, toying with people’s feelings and emotions, and constantly on the run is not going to give you much of a real foundation in life because you are moving to fast. I am not speaking about a foundation of jewelry, clothes, houses, and cars. I’m speaking about a foundation of self-love, authentic relationships, peace of mind, and spirituality.

"You teach people how to treat you."

~Dr. Phil 

I will share with you a story. I knew of someone who numerous times worked with the iconic Dr. Dre to complete musical albums for the record label he was running at the time. These projects, of course, had tight deadlines throughout the album making process. Yet it was a known fact, Dr. Dre did not work on the weekends so he could be with his wife and family. Countless times I overheard frustration in the voice of others who simply needed a quick question answered or worried about not making the deadline, but to my knowledge, Dr. Dre never budged despite the tremendous pressures from others. On the flip side, I heard an acknowledgment and respect for Dr. Dre having this ritual. To most of the young men, his discipline was some far out virtue they were incapable of carrying out when the truth was, they also had the power to create some boundaries and structure within their lives.

You do not have to be a multi-millionaire to set some standards in your life. In fact, if your goal is to be one, it might be a great tool to learn how too. You have the ability to disconnect from the rat race and fill yourself up with some good old fashion relaxation. The work will still be there, your friends will still love you, and the house won’t burn down. Your ability to tell others no, not right now or I’ll think about it, is an indication of someone loving or learning to love themselves. A person with the ability to clearly state what they need or want is a person with a good set of boundaries. There is a saying that goes, you teach people how to treat you. I have found this to be so true! When you begin to practice self-love, self-care, and implement boundaries, do you know you begin to attract sweet, loving people into your life?

May you find the courage, as the Bible reminds us, to let your yes be your yes, and your no be your no. May you learn to find the value in your time, your body, and all that you bring to this world. I pray for prosperity, love, and clarity to come to you always. 

Have an amazing week!

Angela

Are you reading this on a mobile device? Scroll down and click “Web Version” to see more content and info. 

Thank you for visiting!

I Am Here

By: Angela Mayah Solstice

Good Morning! I hope all is well! Today I am writing to you from New York. The weather is finally reflecting summer, and I must say, this is my favorite time of the year! So much is going on right now, physically and spiritually on Earth. All that you see, hear, and feel can be very overwhelming. Looking for signs, searching for answers, yearning for love is all good and well, but I think what you may be looking for is God. Every species, even non-living entities has a root or foundation of some kind. It is needed so one does not completely collapse under the weight of its own being. Today I invite you to begin thinking about how you can create a stronger foundation for yourself. Maybe it can be through cooking and eat more often from home, or celebrating your accomplishments and realizing how you contribute to others. Spiritual tools such as prayer and fasting regularly are a great habit to begin. The concern isn’t so much how, but when? When are you going to decide that you are in control of your own state of mind and happiness? Do you find it amazing those who are infirmed or imprisoned can somehow find a tremendous amount of gratefulness and peace within a dire situation? So why not those of you who are walking, breathing, and living freely every day find the will power and the motivation to add life unto your life? Those of you who know inside of you dwells a spirit of love, creativity, compassion, and greatness; Will you begin to manifest this in your everyday life? Act as the person you know you are? God is calling to you, speaking to you, and not from a far off place, but nestled safely in your heart, in your very being. May you center yourself, quiet yourself, calm your jumpy spirit and simply tell God, I Am Here.

Blessings, Love, and Well Wishes! Until next time!  

Are you reading this on a mobile device? Scroll down to click "web version" to see more content and updates! 

Thank you for visiting!

Unspoken Feelings Of A Gentlemen

"To the men trying to right their wrongs and open themselves to healthier relationships in the future." 

~Pierre Alex Jeanty 

 

By: Angela Mayah Solstice

Hello! I hope all is well! I am writing you today as I begin to post more book reviews, and I thought to start off with The Unspoken Feelings of A Gentlemen, written by an author who felt the urge to share a message to men and to the women who love them. The book was an easy read and I was able to finish it in one evening. At the time I was frustrated with a situation I found myself in, where I wasn’t connecting to someone I really wanted to connect with. So much so, that the blocks I was coming against inspired me to understand men more. Not so much in a romantic way or with any end goal in mind other than to expand my consciousness as it associated to men. Before this, mainly in regards to romance, I always related to men from a standpoint of what I could do for them or possessing the mentality that there was a right or wrong way to make a connection. Having this narrow minded ideal of how to relate to men often times left me feeling rejected, ashamed, and with the self-judgment that I must of done something wrong when a relationship or connection with a man in my life had failed. Mostly because I was taught there was always something I was suppose to do as far as pleasing or attracting a man. If I were to explain it further, I often learned to write men off as shallow and only needing X, Y, or Z. to be satisfied. Yet the men I was coming across weren’t that simple. They were complicated, spiritual, and contemplative, each having different characteristics, with personalities that were vast and interesting. I began to think to myself, it can’t be true that men are merely simple minded beings.

"Now my silence has a voice. Expressing myself has become an escape for me, a necessity. Vulnerability is something of which I am no longer afraid. I have decided to start being real with myself and the people in my life." 

~From Unspoken Feelings of A Gentlemen

 

So when I came across this book it was very refreshing, mainly because it offered an acknowledgement to what most would refer to as a women’s intuition. An acknowledgement of, “Hey, you had a hunch that something more was going on with the man in your life, and I’m here to tell you there was.” The author is just amazing at conveying this sort of message over and over throughout the book in a very unique and creative way. It is not a book about what a women needs to do, other than to be herself, which I found very refreshing and affirming. Yet, the heart of the message was to the men and acknowledging their complexities, there spiritual being, and the often times decades of pent up feelings the world had conditioned them to ignore. The author generously shares his personal experiences about the women he very much loved, but admits he wasn’t there as far as being ready to accept those feelings and see them through in a healthy way. He also tackles a myriad of issues from fatherhood, celibacy, to marriage. Reading his perspective on all of this allowed me to feel even more of  a compassion towards men, which I was already feeling, and my conversations with those close to me began to change as we found ourselves literally saying that we wanted to understand men more. Upon finishing the book I was hopeful once again that I could enjoy better experiences in the future, along with the realization that I couldn’t imagine my healing journey as complete without some genuine understanding and compassion for men. So I’m very thankful for this book. It was very insightful and artistically written, I would definitely recommend it to anyone who has gone through any heartache, or who would just like to get some insight on men in general. 

"The day you begin to accept who you are is when the journey of knowing yourself begins. That day is when validation through others becomes something of the past, and loving you and evolving into who you were made to be will begin." 

~From Unspoken Feelings of A Gentlemen

Get more information about the book by clicking here! 

Recommended Bonus Viewing

 Check out a quick clip below that is a good compliment to the book Unspoken Feelings of A Gentlemen. I hope you enjoy it and also gain some new perspectives!

Are you reading this on a mobile device? Scroll down to click "web version" to see more content and updates! 

Thank you for visiting!

 

Soul Food

"Don't pack whatever is easiest or most available into the emptiness. Hold out for the right medicine. You will recognize it because it makes your life stronger rather than weaker."

~Dr. Clarissa Pinkola Estes 

By: Angela Mayah Solstice

What an amazing time to be alive and to watch the world as it is today. Obama was quoted saying in reference to the Manchester Bombing, “The world is a very complicated place.” It really is. So many advances in our world, yet hardcore realities don’t seem to change. How to make peace with some of those realities can become a journey in itself. 

I believe we can find solace wherever we see our truth reflected back to us. Our truth in what we feel in our hearts, and how we perceive ourselves... Our truth in what we’ve experienced and seen in the world. I am very grateful for the people, be they world renowned to a childhood friend, who have lived out dreams, spoken truths and showed up in this world sharing all of their gifts and talents. It has in one way or another,  given me the hope, strength, and courage to move forward.

Finding inspiration in a harsh world with all of its injustices can be life changing. Sometimes all it takes is an intention to find answers to what is bothering you or understanding more of your history and where you came from. I believe once you know more about who you are, you can begin to understand your purpose here on Earth. For example, I learned through overhearing and reading the biographies of people I looked up to, that most great writers are really good readers. Soon I was able to put together that my love for reading and writing was my gift to share with others. On my own I would not have thought to put the two together, I just enjoyed reading and did not think to associate it with much else.

Even if you have already identified your gifts and talents, there is always so much more to learn. Finding inspiration and connecting with others who have traveled the path you find yourself on can bring forth new ideas and ignite your passions to new levels.

I am most inspired when I am around my tribe.

So my best advice to anyone searching for more inspiration is to go and find them!


Recommended Exercises:

Plan an event! (I.e.: A house party, family get-to-together/reunion, work party, business promotional event)

National Geographic DNA Ancestry Kit

Reading Recommendations (Click on links & colored titles for more info):

The Courage To Change by: Angela Mayah Solstice

Sacred Contracts by: Carolyn Myss

Angela Davis An Autobiography by: Angela Davis

The Collected Autobiographies of Maya Angelou by: Maya Angelou 

The Shack by: Wm. Paul Young

The Portable Malcolm X Reader by: Manning Marable & Garrett Felber

The Fire Next Time by: James Baldwin

Assata: an Autobiography by: Assata Shakur

Anatomy of the Spirit by: Carolyn Myss

The Outliers by: Malcolm Gladwell

Between The World & Me by : Ta-Nehisi Coates

The Red Tent by: Anita Diamant

Woman Who Runs With Wolves by: Clarissa Pinkola Estes

The Color of Water: A Black Man's Tribute to His White Mother by: James McBride
Buck: A Memoir by: M.K. Asante

If you're reading this on a mobile device, scroll down and select "View Web Version" link to see what I'm currently reading and more!

Are you reading this on a mobile device? Scroll down and click “Web Version” to see more content and info. 

Thank you for visiting!

Down In The D

By: Angela Mayah Solstice

“Managing an inner life which knows a great love and an outer life which can be anything but loving is a bridge too far for many.” 

~Dr. Bruce Davis

I have been down before, way down. I still managed to keep my day to day going, pay my bills, and even maneuver around life’s crisis with all of the composure in the world. Yet none of this could mask the pain and anxiety I often felt in my alone time. The constant worry I was experiencing would create a lack of motivation in my life. As each new idea came to mind that could bring forth change or a solution for me, I would become overwhelmed with the execution of it all, literally putting the devil in the details. We are faced with decisions every waking moment of our lives, learning to manage life’s stresses is a journey in itself. To somehow find yourself in a vulnerable or hopeless place is not uncommon, I would almost dare to say it is normal and occurs for a lot of people.

Studies have shown that exercise and exposure to sunlight can reduce the symptoms of depression more effectively than taking prescribed medication. I personally find music, reading, or writing as an escape. Taking time for self-reflection, getting organized and putting “First Things First” helps as well. We cannot always be everything to everybody, but you are always with yourself, try and be kind!

Recommended Exercises:

1.      At least 1 x per week take yourself out on a “creative date”. This is can be anywhere that ignites your creative side. (i.e. record store, art gallery, beach, nature trail, specialty grocery store, garden, festival, favorite spots) *This idea comes from a great book called The Artist Way; it’s an awesome read for anyone also needing creative motivation to finish a project and/or reconnect to their art.

2.      Make a self-care list you can look to whenever you’re feeling down or stuck, and then pick something on the list to do immediately! (I.e. hot shower, bath, walk, journal, take a drive, workout, read, call a supportive friend, etc.)

Reading Recommendations (Click on links & colored titles for more info):

 

1.      http://www.huffingtonpost.com/bruce-davis-phd/the-challenge-of-depressi_b_9656658.html

2.      http://www.wakingtimes.com/2015/02/05/understanding-spiritual-causes-depression/

3.      The Courage To Change by: Angela Mayah Solstice

4.      The Artist Way by: Julia Cameron

5.      You Can Heal Your Life by: Louise Hay

6.      21-Day Consciousness Cleanse by: Debbie Ford

7.      Anatomy of The Spirit by: Caroline Myss

8.      The War of Art by: Steven Pressfield

9.      Ten Commandments of Working in a Hostile Working Environment by: TD Jakes

10.   My Single Mom Life by: Angela Thomas

11.   A Woman’s Worth by: Marianne Williamson

12.   The Writings of Florence Scovel Shinn by: Florence Scovel Shinn

For More Info Email Info@angelamayahsolstice.com

Are you reading this on a mobile device? Scroll down and click “Web Version” to see more content and info. 

Thank you for visiting!

Mother Earth

By Angela Mayah Solstice

On a recent morning, I woke up happy and I had a hard time accepting it. Survival has come naturally to me, but learning to live has been a whole other story. I'm not sure I quite understand it all yet. So when I wake up happy and my thoughts are light, it's kind of surreal to me.

After trying to make sense of my happiness once again, I stopped and decided to go outside. I looked around and realized quickly at least one thing I was happy for-I had a beautiful backyard to call my own. The tenant before me clearly had been an avid gardener. Like magic, her flowers were blooming at the start of spring. Blessing me with pink roses in my own yard for the first time. A small section in the corner of the yard was a food garden with a wire barrier for protection. I vowed to myself for sure this time I was going to learn how to grow my own vegetables and maybe fruits. Also nearby was a huge bumblebee with a gentle energy hovering over the purple flowers scattered throughout the grass. I had a feeling the garden and backyard was healing and magical. A place others had passed through and received the respite they needed after a long hard journey.

On my long commute to work each morning when I cross over the large bridges, I turn off the music and connect to the ocean beneath me. I thank Mother Earth for her vastness. Last weekend for Earth Day I cleaned out the rubbish stuck in the bushes and soil around my house. I did not like it at first. Most of it was hard to access and its sight was ugly and moldy. It wasn't even my mess, which can be hard to accept responsibility for. But somehow in the midst of doing this chore, I gave it purpose. I let it represent the hard times I've had with my own mother. An issue I have come to accept had more of an affect on my life than I like to admit. So I let this act of cleaning up the hard places, be a connection to my own inner work and being able to face the hard stuff. An acceptance of difficult situations passed down to me that I have to accept.

Mother Earth has magic to her that I've always felt a connection to, but perhaps my forever love of the beach or soaking in the sun was just a start. I look forward to learning more and spending time with Her, my life, and me filled with happiness. May God and our Angels bless us all, bless our Earth, bless our food, bless our air, and our homes. Bringing us signs to follow and the warmth of love upon our lives.

Thank you for your support & reading!

Are you reading this on a mobile device? Scroll down and click “Web Version” to see more content and info. 

Thank you for visiting!

Venting

"All to often women believe it is a sign of commitment, an expression of love, to endure unkindness or cruelty, to forgive and forget. In actuality, when we love rightly we know that the healthy, loving response to cruelty and abuse is putting ourselves out of harm’s way."

~Bell Hooks

By: Trapped

“I’m calling the cops!!!!”

“What you stupid bitch? Go ahead call them!”

“Please stop hitting me I'm bleeding.”

 “Die bitch!”

“Daddy your hurting mommy and you're hurting me.”

“Shut up this is what your mommy deserves.”  

“Is this what you want for your daughter?”

“If my daughter acts like you, she deserves to be beat.”

These are the words that echo again and again in my brain when he tries to tell me I hurt him or that I'm mean. How can he call me mean? I held him down when everyone else around him was living their life and didn’t care what happened to him. I stopped my life; I put my dreams and goals on hold for him! For him to turn around six years later and beat the life out of me with his daughter, our daughter, watching still blows my mind. 

“Pow!” There was the Fendi buckle connecting with my left arm.

“Pow!” Another blow to the same arm.

 Pow! Pow! POW! It got harder. 

I ran out the room and down the stairs thinking if I go to where our daughter was watching TV he would stop, but he didn't. His fist became one with my gut. I ran out the kitchen and back up the stairs.

Pow! Punches to my face.

I ran again threatening to call the cops. He caught me again as he held my daughter back and began kicking me, blood running down the side of my mouth. All I could see was my daughter. I had to call the cops.

As women we think it’s ok to get beat and not call the cops. I am a victim of domestic violence who is still broken. Broken because although I'm the victim, I still find myself having to explain why I called the cops and got him arrested. It’s rare that I hear he was wrong and I should have stood up for myself. In the black community it’s a no-no to call the police on any black man.

“How dare you allow that man to put cuffs on me you RAT bitch. You SNITCH! You stole my money, you deserved this, and you deserve to die!”

Five thousand dollars.That’s how much my life was worth. Let’s stay on the same page. Five thousand was the distraction from the filth, the dirt, and the embarrassment I had to endure from the outside baby and him living a double life that I was tired of. I was his wife, yet I felt like the mistress. I got beat because he needed someone to blame for his wrongs. His wrongs in his head, became my wrongs he blamed on me somehow. I got beat because I took $5,000 dollars, something that wasn't outside of our norm. However he knew the shallow people he hung around would help him justify his wrong if he said I stole from him. I endured a lot, but that beating with my baby witnessing it, gave me the courage to love myself. I took the step of loving myself by dialing 9-1-1.

Lets get something straight, any man that puts his hands on you doesn't love you. That hot day in August he wanted to hurt me, he truly wanted me to die. It took me a long time to understand that this man didn’t love me and he wasn’t my protector. When the police came I begged them not to arrest him. I remember the police officer taking me to the bathroom mirror and telling me,“This man doesn't love you, look at yourself.” When I looked at my reflection I had a busted lip, scratches on my face, purple welts all over my arm, and a black and blue mark on the side of my face. 

My daughter was shaking and her wrist was bruised from him holding her with his right hand while he was kicking me with his foot. Yet in still, I was a mess, not because my body was all bruised up, but because they took him to jail. He still didn't care about what he had done to me or his child, all he was worried about was that I got him arrested and how could I do such a thing to him. It took me a while to understand I did nothing wrong, and If I could go back in time I would still put his butt in jail. It’s just sad that there are a lot of women who are socially adapted to being beat, and never think about standing up for themselves and showing these men the repercussion of their actions. 

When he put his hands on me I felt violated, I felt like my life was done. I felt angry and hurt. Statistics show that my daughter now has a chance to be abused by someone because her father abused me in front of her. Knowing what can be in her future gives me the strength to keep standing up to her father. This happened four years ago and he never once sat her down and truly apologized to her. This scares me, but as her mother all I can do is show her my strength by moving on, and showing her what it is to be a strong Black woman.

Are you reading this on a mobile device? Scroll down and click “Web Version” to see more content and info. 

Thank you for visiting!