"To the men trying to right their wrongs and open themselves to healthier relationships in the future."
~Pierre Alex Jeanty
By: Angela Mayah Solstice
Hello! I hope all is well! I am writing you today as I begin to post more book reviews, and I thought to start off with The Unspoken Feelings of A Gentlemen, written by an author who felt the urge to share a message to men and to the women who love them. The book was an easy read and I was able to finish it in one evening. At the time I was frustrated with a situation I found myself in, where I wasn’t connecting to someone I really wanted to connect with. So much so, that the blocks I was coming against inspired me to understand men more. Not so much in a romantic way or with any end goal in mind other than to expand my consciousness as it associated to men. Before this, mainly in regards to romance, I always related to men from a standpoint of what I could do for them or possessing the mentality that there was a right or wrong way to make a connection. Having this narrow minded ideal of how to relate to men often times left me feeling rejected, ashamed, and with the self-judgment that I must of done something wrong when a relationship or connection with a man in my life had failed. Mostly because I was taught there was always something I was suppose to do as far as pleasing or attracting a man. If I were to explain it further, I often learned to write men off as shallow and only needing X, Y, or Z. to be satisfied. Yet the men I was coming across weren’t that simple. They were complicated, spiritual, and contemplative, each having different characteristics, with personalities that were vast and interesting. I began to think to myself, it can’t be true that men are merely simple minded beings.
"Now my silence has a voice. Expressing myself has become an escape for me, a necessity. Vulnerability is something of which I am no longer afraid. I have decided to start being real with myself and the people in my life."
~From Unspoken Feelings of A Gentlemen
So when I came across this book it was very refreshing, mainly because it offered an acknowledgement to what most would refer to as a women’s intuition. An acknowledgement of, “Hey, you had a hunch that something more was going on with the man in your life, and I’m here to tell you there was.” The author is just amazing at conveying this sort of message over and over throughout the book in a very unique and creative way. It is not a book about what a women needs to do, other than to be herself, which I found very refreshing and affirming. Yet, the heart of the message was to the men and acknowledging their complexities, there spiritual being, and the often times decades of pent up feelings the world had conditioned them to ignore. The author generously shares his personal experiences about the women he very much loved, but admits he wasn’t there as far as being ready to accept those feelings and see them through in a healthy way. He also tackles a myriad of issues from fatherhood, celibacy, to marriage. Reading his perspective on all of this allowed me to feel even more of a compassion towards men, which I was already feeling, and my conversations with those close to me began to change as we found ourselves literally saying that we wanted to understand men more. Upon finishing the book I was hopeful once again that I could enjoy better experiences in the future, along with the realization that I couldn’t imagine my healing journey as complete without some genuine understanding and compassion for men. So I’m very thankful for this book. It was very insightful and artistically written, I would definitely recommend it to anyone who has gone through any heartache, or who would just like to get some insight on men in general.
"The day you begin to accept who you are is when the journey of knowing yourself begins. That day is when validation through others becomes something of the past, and loving you and evolving into who you were made to be will begin."
~From Unspoken Feelings of A Gentlemen
Recommended Bonus Viewing
Check out a quick clip below that is a good compliment to the book Unspoken Feelings of A Gentlemen. I hope you enjoy it and also gain some new perspectives!
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