Wednesday, August 29, 2012

Discovering Your Life Purpose Pt.1




By: Angela Mayah Solstice

For many years I felt as if my life was meaningless. Feeling pressured to “make it” in life, I rushed into many vocations. At one point I was a teacher, next a real estate agent, and then a small business owner. I was the type of person who could do anything I put my mind to, but what some saw as ambition and talent, often ended in frustration and disappointment to me. I wanted to be great at one thing, not good at many. I wanted to find that one thing I was so great at it was undeniable that it was my gift and strongest talent, because of this belief I was unfulfilled, and none of these ventures brought me happiness or peace. The school I taught for closed down, I abruptly left real estate, and my small business failed miserably. For years I viewed each experience as reminders of times of disappointment and inadequacy on my part. This was not a pretty sight as I projected this feeling of inadequacy onto every relationship and situation I found myself in. 

As of late, I had the grace of walking into my life purpose. Finally knowing without a doubt what I was put here on Earth to do. Even more, it was a healing within itself as I realized that my previous so-called failures professionally and personally directly linked to my purpose. Every person, relationship, job, and situation was meaningful after all! I know many people wonder, how do I discover my life purpose? I am by far not an expert, but I will share with you the steps I personally experienced in getting there. Until then, try and venture off into your imagination as you explore what it could be God has planned for you life. Until then, it's all one day at a time!

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Saturday, August 25, 2012

Honor Thyself



By: Angela Mayah Solstice

I believe in soul mates. I believe they come in many forms such as a romantic partner, friend, mother, etc. Although I have a beautiful soul family who remains and contributes tremendously to my life—I have felt the stinging pain of those brought into my life for other reasons. I use to believe that no matter the heartache a person put me through that it was for a reason. That I was better for it because it was a lesson learned, but there became a point in my life where that belief system was my way of copping out. It was a reason not to feel anger. It was my way of manipulating the so- called game of life by not existing as one of the bitter people and appearing to be the “bigger” person. 

Yet even those walking around with bitterness and resentment had more common sense than me at the time. They knew enough not to keep subjecting themselves to more heartache from others, I didn’t.  I once heard a sermon from pastor TD Jakes describe manipulation as this, “manipulation is bypassing the process for progress.” Meaning, whatever relationship or situation you find yourself in, if you are consciously bypassing the process for progress, you are being a manipulator. I, unfortunately, was manipulating myself. I was so hungry for love and attention that I was willing to bypass the process in so many ways, even in its aftermath. I was attracted to the sickest man in the room, I found myself wanting the acceptance from the most emotionally unavailable friends. I was doing this over and over again because I wasn't allowing myself to feel my true feelings from the last relationship or friendship. It was time to change. 

It was time to feel the anger and accept that I’ve been hurt. I was not the bigger person by denying this fact, or by intellectualizing the situation so I somehow appeared to have it more together. Eliminating people from your life who no longer serve you or your life purpose can be an excruciating process as you move out of your comfort zone, but it allows those for your highest good to come in and will be worth the effort. 

Until then it is all one day at a time.

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Wednesday, August 22, 2012

Youer Than You


By: Angela Mayah Solstice

Thinking about the world today can bring about mixed emotions for me. On one hand I see it for its enchantment and uncovered mysteries and the countless places I want to visit and experience. On the other I see the illusions and confusion. I see the ill hearted and lost souls projecting on and hurting others. In a way, I guess I think too much! I always have. I have always had a deeper sense and knowing about people and situations. I’ve always been emotional, reactive, and a “thinker.” These characteristics have worked for me but also against me. I have used it as a defense mechanism as I went about judging others and staying emotionally disconnected rather than creating boundaries and loving from a distance if need be. I’ve used it to over analyze and stay indecisive as opposed to finding a solution and moving forward confidently. Too add more salt to the wound (hence I think too much) I would beat myself up for not possessing the traits opposite of my own. I thought the people I observed who seemed aloof and carefree to life and toward others were so much better than me. Why could I not be like them? Why did I have to think so much? Care so much? Why did everything have to be so damn deep! But my miracle happened. Through long nights and gray days, better known as my spiritual journey, I found me.I learned to embrace these traits and even found some were related to my spiritual gifts as an Empath and Intuitive. I believe my creator did not make any mistakes on me and I doubt any were made on you. Do not give up on your journey of self-discovery. Learning to love and embrace YOU in the end, will all be worth it. Until then It is all one day at a time. Xo

P.S. Two great  reads if some of the traits I described above resonate with you are "The Realms of Earth Angels" by Doreen Virtue and "Codependent No More" by Melody Beattie. 

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Friday, August 17, 2012

Faith


By: Angela Mayah Solstice

I write from a heavy heart. Usually I would not write in this state, but again yes I would. I guess the difference is that I am sharing it with you. I started seriously writing poetry in my late teens— I came to discover I was good. A long way from putting together catchy rhymes as a kid—yet even back then I realized I had a talent there. Fast-forward to today, and you would not believe that one of my biggest insecurities is writing. Yes, the one thing I feel confident about is one of my fears. Fears that I sound uneducated, I’ve made a punctual error or that I simply do not make sense. The list is endless. Spiritualists associate many personal struggles with the role your mother or father played in your life. Specifically they say your relationship with your father determines how you “show up” in life and how confident you believe in doing so. Good ‘ol common sense can confirm that there is some truth in that. I never knew my biological father and recently have learned that he passed away a couple of years ago. Open hearted by nature I cried a river of tears. I don’t feel anger--yet. I don’t feel a disconnect. I feel pain. I feel loss. Many times the world tries to project to others on who we should hate or dislike. Who is not worthy of our love, tears, or heartache, especially if that someone has hurt us. Thankfully no one directly did that to me in association to my biological father. I was never given any ill information or side remarks about him accept for the limited facts. As a child this gave birth to an illusion, that one-day we may connect and have a relationship. Over time I accepted it was not going to happen but maybe I would get to know him through death. This gave way to my second fantasy that there would be this big funeral and I would connect and meet long lost siblings and relatives. Confirmation of his death and final arrangements already taken place took away that hope. So I mourn the father who I never had in life and in death. The saying goes, “weeping may endure for the night, but joy comes in the morning.” Perhaps my weeping may endure for many nights, but I still believe my joy will come. And I'll keep writing through the fear. Until then, it is all one day at a time. xo 

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Friday, August 10, 2012

Letting Go...


By: Angela Mayah Solstice 

There is a quote that says, “Stand for something, or fall for anything.” That was my life for so many years. Running toward anyone, believing anything, only to be knocked down from the emotional blows of moving too fast. In changing my life, I learned that trying to figure out how the game of life was played, was not my job to play in the first place. I learned that I was to surrender my thoughts to a Higher Power if I wanted clarity and relief. In doing this, I became stronger and did not even realize it at first, but a spirit of discernment had come over me. Even if my old thinking patterns popped up—I immediately knew not to trust them initially. I learned to wait on it, and the divine truth, solution, or intervention would come. 

I try and support these revelations by envisioning the person or problem going toward a light in the sky. Another way is to write out your feelings and ceremoniously burn or bury the paper. This may be something you practice frequently in the initial stages of changing your life or cleansing—do it as often as you need to. Then as you move forward in your self- growth, these exercises can serve as a constant tool when you are being troubled by a situation. You will soon notice less anxiety and more confidence come about, as you practice the continual act of surrender. 

Until then it is all one day at a time. xo

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Tuesday, August 7, 2012

Just Like That.


By: Angela Mayah Solstice

I had heard the statement “Life is a gift.” I understood the meaning but I never thought that way about my own life. Life had been a struggle as far back as I could remember. Learning to appreciate life and finding happiness did not come easy to me. It was a learned behavior. First, I had to believe I deserved happiness. It took a tremendous amount of healing and soul searching, but eventually I got there. Next, I had to break free from unhealthy people. It is a continual act that I perform, but when you work hard for something you appreciate and value it more—and I was beginning to do just that. I learned that if a person did not make me feel good or simply something did not feel right that it was okay for me to disconnect—I did not have to learn the hard way now. Finally, I make a conscious effort. I fight for my happiness and peace of mind knowing how miserable I was before and never wanting to be in that place again. Your life is a gift. At anytime you have the power to take it back. You are changing your life the moment you choose to do so. In the meanwhile, it is all one day at a time. xo 

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Monday, August 6, 2012

Morning Prayer


By: Rebekah Vereeen
Guest Blogger

Good morning, a quick prayer that will bring you closer to your higher self and the God within: "Infinite Spirit help me to hear your voice today. Guide me along my day. God send your Angels to protect me and give me direction."

If you get a gut feeling or hunch about something don't ignore it or have self-doubt, act on it! That's your higher self giving you direction, Angels speaking to you, or the God within telling you to do something for a reason although it might not make logical sense at the time. Having faith and believing in yourself is key. Angels are here everyday sent by God to help...All you have to do is ask.

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Saturday, August 4, 2012

You Will Get Better...


By: Angela Mayah Solstice

When initially changing myself I thought I was on a mission to a certain level or proximity in life where I would “arrive” and successfully have executed life. Not where I want to be but a long way from where I came from, I have discovered that life is a journey. As cliché as it sounds it is true, life did not stop happening to me just because I had changed my life. Yes there has been Angel visions, revelations, grace, and wonderful relationships brought into my life. Yet still I am faced with circumstances and people who are challenging and allow me to see how much I have grown. They are not such frequent visitors in my life as in the past but they do come and I realize that they always will. There was a time when I was solely motivated by these people and circumstances. I was almost conditioned to take action in my life because of crisis, abuse, and abandonment. Yet it was, and still is my goal to get far removed from these situations. Meaning I do not want to be moved by circumstance, I want to be motivated by my own destiny, power, and God driven purpose for my life. There is a saying that goes, “let your haters be your motivators.” This is fine; if it gets you off the couch and into the game of life, go! But eventually you even out grow your enemies. Hopefully, possessing a spiritual awakening that even they had a divine purpose in your life. Soon life circumstances that seemed to plague you disappear as you take back power and control over your life. You can and will get better and life will not be so hard. Until then it is all one day at a time--xo

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