When A Woman's Fed Up

"There's a place within you, you must keep inviolate, you must keep it, pristine, clean. So that nobody has the right to curse you, or treat you badly, nobody. No mother, father, no wife, no husband, no-body, because that may be the place you go to when you meet God. You have to have a place where you say stop it, back-up, no. Say no, when it's no, say so, back it up. Because that place has to remain clean and clear."  

~Dr. Maya Angelou 

By: Angela Mayah Solstice

There’s an old R. Kelly song called When A Women’s Fed Up…The hook says, When a women’s fed up, there’s nothing you can do about it. It’s true. It may take the millionth time of deceit, being lied to, cheated on, or years of built up frustration from neglect and tension, but there seems to be a point where a woman is fed up and done. The pleas from her partner have lost their charm, the excuses hold no weight, and to be quite honest—he’s not even attractive to her anymore. Just like that her King begins to look more like a pitiful fool. I have seen this scenario articulated another way in the book the Four Agreements. 

"To be fed up means you have to start loving yourself better, talking to yourself better..."

It explains how no one in your life has ever abused you more than yourself, and how you will always stay with someone who abuses you a little less than you abuse yourself, but when a person begins to abuse you a little more than you abuse yourself, you’re more likely to exit the relationship. I would interpret that to mean when a woman begins to talk to herself and see herself a little better than her partner talks to her and views her, she will feel empowered enough to finally see herself worthy of more. I believe that men could evolve in the same way but more often than not, you see women tirelessly and sometimes neurotically fighting through the cycle of self- abuse and other abuse. Sure the signs are there, the arguments have been had time and time again, but how do you finally get to a place where you are fed up and take some real action within your relationships? I believe that you start with yourself. There is no right or wrong way to start that journey. Yet one thing I do know is it will take a tremendous amount of strength to leave a situation you had an emotional, physical, and often times financial investment in if you don’t have the confidence, stamina, and self-love needed to do so.

To be fed up means you have to start loving yourself better, talking to yourself better, treating and feeding your body better, begin staying committed to yourself, and believing in yourself—because more than likely, the person who you find yourself in relationship with does not treat you any better than you have been treating yourself.  Soon as you begin to care for yourself, like magic clarity begins to take hold in your life. Where you have been sacrificing of yourself in the relationship becomes almost intolerable.

 "We seem to live in a society that celebrates the women who endure years and sometimes decades of ill treatment from their partners."

So sure, he works out and has a great body but he talks to you like crap—that’s where affirmations and talking to yourself better help. Or he treats you wonderfully but he’s non-committed—that’s where staying committed to yourself helps because eventually you will have a choice to make (hopefully you choose yourself!). Or he is a great provider but doesn’t believe in your gifts and is often competitive—that’s where believing in yourself saves your soul. Surely a relationship takes some give and take, but we all should have bottom lines that are non-negotiable in how you will tolerate being treated.

No one goes into a relationship wishing it would not work out. It’s amazing as women who wells of love run deep, can also run dry. We seem to live in a society that celebrates the women who endure years and sometimes decades of ill treatment from their partners. Somehow their loyalty is seen as heroic, but only because they paid a steep price in staying committed. Here’s to celebrating those who bravely walked the path of self-exploration and unchartered waters. Celebrating the women who walked right into their purpose or had to crawl through the depths of hell after being fed up, but they made it, they persevered. So can you.

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Sex

"Although some might really prefer you behave yourself and not climb all over the furniture in joy or all over people in welcome, do it anyway. Some will draw back from you in fear and disgust. Your lover, however, will cherish this new aspect of you--if he or she be the right lover for you. Some people will not like it if you take a sniff at everything to see what it is. And for heaven's sakes, no lying on your back with your feet up in the air. Bad girl. Bad wolf. Bad dog. Right? Wrong. Go ahead and enjoy yourself."

~Clarissa Pinkola Estes, PhD. "Women Who Run With the Wolves" 

By: Lavender Moon

The topic of sex is a popular one and when spoken about from a spiritual sacred voice, the topic becomes more taboo. Well, in this post, I’m speaking about sex from a spiritual sacred voice. One that makes your body quiver and run over with endorphins.

Let’s go back to the beginning of what sex is; it is the union of two people, male and female to procreate. We can either look at sex from a feel-good, exploited nature (which is what our society is so overwhelmingly consumed with); OR we can talk about sex from the standpoint of sacredness.

Let’s look a little further as time went on, sex became a tool of power and spiritual access. When we visit sex from the Hindu following, sex was a meditation of the Kama sutras which was the awakening of the spiritual energy through the union of two people engaged in the physical act of sex to accomplish a spiritual awakening.

"Sex is a bond of sacred spiritual partnership."

I’m going to dig into this aspect a little more. To meditate and open doors in portals of the mind to create a spiritual energy and awakening which is known as kundalini awakening. Kundalini is the chemical substance, phosphorus that ascends from the sex hormones up through the spine and into the brain by way of our central nervous system. It does this when the sex hormones become activated through mental, physical and spiritual stimulation. Sex is a generated act which stems from the activation of uterine juices and semen excreted into the walls and cavities of the uterus. The alchemical activation sends energy throughout our body from the root through the sacral, solar plexus, heart, throat, third eye, and into our crown chakra energy centers; when one experiences this explosion of sorts it leaves them with a new spiritual awakening and an awareness of divine order over chaos. The ultimate manifestation of this transformation is the procreation of a new life, conception. Carl Jung said “the meeting of two personalities is like the contact of two chemical substances; if there is any reaction, both are transformed.” Sex is a bond of sacred spiritual partnership.

"As a woman, it is important for me to understand my value."

                  Sex in our society misses the mark and continues to do so; Sex in our society is viewed as a negative and lowered frequency through rape, violence, manipulation, and exploitation. The culture of how sex is viewed is a trickle down of ultimate core Christian values. When we look at the examples of sex used in the bible and the view of women’s bodies; the examples made are very clear about how women are treated today. In the 1400s in early Europe (early Western society values); women who bled were believed to be witches and magical beings who should be feared and killed. During that time, the western European witch hunts began and followed their way into the U.S. Through the infiltration of Christianity throughout the U.S.; sex was an act that was only meant for husband and wife and only through their union was procreation acceptable and anything outside of marriage was and is considered sinful acts. Sex in this manner has transformed to an exploited rape culture in our society and has lost touch with sacred spirituality all together. However, sacred spiritual sex can occur and has occurred for thousands of years prior to Christianity infiltrating ancient tribes and sex was utilized as a portal to attain higher consciousness. Sex is one of the few offerings that people in our western society rarely understand in this way. If we really look deeper, we can see there are many manipulations and laws regarding procreation and sexual identity, sexual preferences, and the act of sex as it is overused, manipulated, exploited and solicited in unsacred ways.

"...Respect the divine feminine role and act of sex as sacred for the mutual goal of attaining higher consciousness and spiritual awakening."

                Men in this equation of sex are equally responsible for their power and ability to recognize the value and magic of their own offering and sacrament to manifesting life and creativity and to simultaneously respect the divine feminine role and act of sex as sacred for the mutual goal of attaining higher consciousness and spiritual awakening. As a woman, it is important for me to understand my value. Sex is not just a feel-good tool, it is the key to our spiritual awareness and access to our divine offerings and creativity.

 

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**Sources for more info on witch hunts and kundalini sacredness:

Witches, Midwives, and Nurses (book by Barbara Ehrenreich) 

Bhagavad Gita (700-page Hindu Scripture)

Kama Sutra (book by Vātsyāyana) 

Gnostic Media www.gnosticmedia.com

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