Song of The Morning

I enjoyed the past weekend at a wonderful spiritual retreat. I wanted to share some of my personal photos with you all. Hope you enjoy :-)

http://www.songofthemorning.org/

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Discovering Your Life Purpose Finale

By: Angela Mayah Solstice

I watched a great sermon the other day. As the pastor preached he began to explain how those who are not “seekers” in life, fit in. Yet those who are “seeking” will never fit in because they are set apart from the world. They think different, feel different, and things that others do not think twice about, we feel uncomfortable doing if it'll bring other hurt. I believe that if you are in the process of finding your life purpose you are seeking. I believe if you are trying to change your life you are seeking. In fact, I believe the more you are starting to view things differently in your life —you are definitely having a shift and are beginning to seek! I have witnessed people who I knew in their heart were “seekers” still try to fit in the world, and become trapped in a matrix of confusion and depression. One of the many core lessons I believe one has to commit to overcoming in the name of finding their life purpose, is Self-Love. Your life purpose undoubtedly will involve helping change humanity in whatever capacity that may be. Fulfilling your life purpose will not happen overnight outwardly for all to see—being secure in your soul of Gods plan for your life will take a tremendous amount of ego reducing, patient, self-love. In fact, I believe God will continue to qualify you for your calling until you have somewhat mastered the art of self-care and self-love in your life. In the meantime stay committed to your dreams. Continue to seek and grow. Know that part of your destiny is overcoming your personal life lessons. Until then, it is all one day at a time.  xo

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Discovering Your Life Purpose Pt 2

By: Angela Mayah Solstice

I believe the journey to finding your life purpose is a process. Mine were filled with ups and downs emotionally, physically, and financially. I experienced life-changing shifts in my most intimate relationship, including friends, and associates. You may think, “What does this have to do with my life purpose?” I say it has everything to do with it.  As I faced these life changes, I continued to have breakthroughs. Throughout the process I made sure to get support and practice self-care. I truly believe that no one does it alone. Support groups, workshops, dance classes, returning to school, even starting a weight loss program or new gym are ways you can begin supporting yourself and finding like minded people to share your life with. Not only will you create an outlet to support your inner peace and happiness but will also begin connecting with your life purpose in the process. You living whole, spiritually, healthy, and fully supported are all a part of your life purpose. In fact, I believe you need to be at the top of your priority list. Until then it is all one day at a time. xo

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Discovering Your Life Purpose Pt.1

By: Angela Mayah Solstice

For many years I felt as if my life was meaningless. Feeling pressured to “make it” in life, I rushed into many vocations. At one point I was a teacher, next a real estate agent, and then a small business owner. I was the type of person who could do anything I put my mind to, but what some saw as ambition and talent, often ended in frustration and disappointment to me. I wanted to be great at one thing, not good at many. I wanted to find that one thing I was so great at it was undeniable that it was my gift and strongest talent, because of this belief I was unfulfilled, and none of these ventures brought me happiness or peace. The school I taught for closed down, I abruptly left real estate, and my small business failed miserably. For years I viewed each experience as reminders of times of disappointment and inadequacy on my part. This was not a pretty sight as I projected this feeling of inadequacy onto every relationship and situation I found myself in. 

As of late, I had the grace of walking into my life purpose. Finally knowing without a doubt what I was put here on Earth to do. Even more, it was a healing within itself as I realized that my previous so-called failures professionally and personally directly linked to my purpose. Every person, relationship, job, and situation was meaningful after all! I know many people wonder, how do I discover my life purpose? I am by far not an expert, but I will share with you the steps I personally experienced in getting there. Until then, try and venture off into your imagination as you explore what it could be God has planned for you life. Until then, it's all one day at a time!

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Honor Thyself

By: Angela Mayah Solstice

I believe in soul mates. I believe they come in many forms such as a romantic partner, friend, mother, etc. Although I have a beautiful soul family who remains and contributes tremendously to my life—I have felt the stinging pain of those brought into my life for other reasons. I use to believe that no matter the heartache a person put me through that it was for a reason. That I was better for it because it was a lesson learned, but there became a point in my life where that belief system was my way of copping out. It was a reason not to feel anger. It was my way of manipulating the so- called game of life by not existing as one of the bitter people and appearing to be the “bigger” person. 

Yet even those walking around with bitterness and resentment had more common sense than me at the time. They knew enough not to keep subjecting themselves to more heartache from others, I didn’t.  I once heard a sermon from pastor TD Jakes describe manipulation as this, “manipulation is bypassing the process for progress.” Meaning, whatever relationship or situation you find yourself in, if you are consciously bypassing the process for progress, you are being a manipulator. I, unfortunately, was manipulating myself. I was so hungry for love and attention that I was willing to bypass the process in so many ways, even in its aftermath. I was attracted to the sickest man in the room, I found myself wanting the acceptance from the most emotionally unavailable friends. I was doing this over and over again because I wasn't allowing myself to feel my true feelings from the last relationship or friendship. It was time to change. 

It was time to feel the anger and accept that I’ve been hurt. I was not the bigger person by denying this fact, or by intellectualizing the situation so I somehow appeared to have it more together. Eliminating people from your life who no longer serve you or your life purpose can be an excruciating process as you move out of your comfort zone, but it allows those for your highest good to come in and will be worth the effort. 

Until then it is all one day at a time.

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Youer Than You

By: Angela Mayah Solstice

Thinking about the world today can bring about mixed emotions for me. On one hand I see it for its enchantment and uncovered mysteries and the countless places I want to visit and experience. On the other I see the illusions and confusion. I see the ill hearted and lost souls projecting on and hurting others. In a way, I guess I think too much! I always have. I have always had a deeper sense and knowing about people and situations. I’ve always been emotional, reactive, and a “thinker.” These characteristics have worked for me but also against me. I have used it as a defense mechanism as I went about judging others and staying emotionally disconnected rather than creating boundaries and loving from a distance if need be. I’ve used it to over analyze and stay indecisive as opposed to finding a solution and moving forward confidently. Too add more salt to the wound (hence I think too much) I would beat myself up for not possessing the traits opposite of my own. I thought the people I observed who seemed aloof and carefree to life and toward others were so much better than me. Why could I not be like them? Why did I have to think so much? Care so much? Why did everything have to be so damn deep! But my miracle happened. Through long nights and gray days, better known as my spiritual journey, I found me.I learned to embrace these traits and even found some were related to my spiritual gifts as an Empath and Intuitive. I believe my creator did not make any mistakes on me and I doubt any were made on you. Do not give up on your journey of self-discovery. Learning to love and embrace YOU in the end, will all be worth it. Until then It is all one day at a time. Xo

P.S. Two great  reads if some of the traits I described above resonate with you are "The Realms of Earth Angels" by Doreen Virtue and "Codependent No More" by Melody Beattie. 

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Faith

By: Angela Mayah Solstice

I write from a heavy heart. Usually I would not write in this state, but again yes I would. I guess the difference is that I am sharing it with you. I started seriously writing poetry in my late teens— I came to discover I was good. A long way from putting together catchy rhymes as a kid—yet even back then I realized I had a talent there. Fast-forward to today, and you would not believe that one of my biggest insecurities is writing. Yes, the one thing I feel confident about is one of my fears. Fears that I sound uneducated, I’ve made a punctual error or that I simply do not make sense. The list is endless. Spiritualists associate many personal struggles with the role your mother or father played in your life. Specifically they say your relationship with your father determines how you “show up” in life and how confident you believe in doing so. Good ‘ol common sense can confirm that there is some truth in that. I never knew my biological father and recently have learned that he passed away a couple of years ago. Open hearted by nature I cried a river of tears. I don’t feel anger--yet. I don’t feel a disconnect. I feel pain. I feel loss. Many times the world tries to project to others on who we should hate or dislike. Who is not worthy of our love, tears, or heartache, especially if that someone has hurt us. Thankfully no one directly did that to me in association to my biological father. I was never given any ill information or side remarks about him accept for the limited facts. As a child this gave birth to an illusion, that one-day we may connect and have a relationship. Over time I accepted it was not going to happen but maybe I would get to know him through death. This gave way to my second fantasy that there would be this big funeral and I would connect and meet long lost siblings and relatives. Confirmation of his death and final arrangements already taken place took away that hope. So I mourn the father who I never had in life and in death. The saying goes, “weeping may endure for the night, but joy comes in the morning.” Perhaps my weeping may endure for many nights, but I still believe my joy will come. And I'll keep writing through the fear. Until then, it is all one day at a time. xo 

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