Dark Night of the Soul

“There are years that ask questions and years that answer.”

~Zora Neale Hurston

By: Angela Mayah Solstice

This time last year I was going through a rough time and being pressured from all corners of my life. Some call these experiences tests, but I don’t believe in that theory. The God of my understanding is not in the testing business because that would be a sort of manipulation. My God doesn’t manipulate me in that way. One theory did resonate with me though and that was I had gone through, A Dark Night of the Soul. Eckhart Tolle described this as, “An eruption into your life of a deep sense of meaninglessness.”

After years of miracles, signs, and contentment to suddenly be in a riptide of meaninglessness, cruelty, and darkness was incomprehensible to me. Fortunately, I didn’t curse God, but it sure gave me insight into how someone reaches that state of mind. Absolutely nothing made sense and it was a very scary time for me. This wasn’t part of my divine plan, it went against everything I had worked so hard to escape from, and here I was in the Devil’s Pit.

Brokenness is nothing to be ashamed of, we will undoubtedly find ourselves broken hearted from circumstances that were out of our control along our journey in life. An acceptance that bad things happen to good people, will afford you a whole lot peace in understanding the hard times you will go through. I often check in with myself by taking a look in the mirror to make sure the fire of my spirit is still burning in my eyes, and it is. What truly matters, has stayed in tact.

I have thought about my experience every which way. I looked for patterns, self-analyzed, prayed, and meditated. Using all the tools I knew of and it helped tremendously. I’ve stayed on track with my spiritual practice and in many ways, simply kept moving ahead. I’ve watched my perpetrators move on, seemingly unaffected, unaware, or simply not caring about the impact their choices had on my life, and I notice I'm not down and out by their selfishness. I take that as a good sign. Why should I be anything less than where God had me before going through the fire? As the church folks use to say, "If He brings you to it, He’ll bring you through it."

May you have the strength for your battles. May all of the faith, support, and resources needed for you to survive your trials come to you quickly and on time. May nothing come in-between your faith, your divine connection, and believing in yourself.

Keep moving forward!

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